Doctors Vs Engineers A must read:

Doctor Vs Engineer

Doctors Vs Engineers A must read:
.
.
Scene 1 (PUNE - MUMBAI)
.
7 Engineers take 1 ticket & 7 doctor
buy all 7
tickets
Doctors are desperately waiting for TC
to
come
When TC arrives,
All 7 Engineers get in one toilet so
when TC
knocks
one hand come out with the ticket &
the TC
goes away
Now on return Journey
All of them don't get a direct train to
PUNE
So they all decide to take Passenger
till
Lonavala
from there they can easily get a Local
to PUNE
.
.
Scene 2 (MUMBAI - LONAVALA)
.
Doctors decided: " This time we will
prove
that we too are equal
All 7 Doctors take one ticket..!
Engineers don't buy any ticket at all
TC arrives
ALL DOCTORS IN ONE TOILET, ALL
ENGINEERS IN
THE OPPOSITE ONE
1 Engineer gets out and knock
thedoor of
Doctor's toilet
One hand comes out with the ticket,
he takes
the ticket and comes in Engineer's
bathroom
TC DRIVES out all the doctors from
toilet and
they are heavily fined.
.
.
Scene 3 (LONAVALA)
.
So now both the group are on
Lonavala
station
Doctors planing their move for last
chance ,
they board the local to Pune
This time Doctors decide that theywill
play the
same 1 ticket Trick
All Doctors take one ticket
Engineer buy all 7 tickets this timeSo
TC
comes..
All Engineers showed their tickets
Doctors are still searchiyng for toilet in
the
Local train..!!  

Atif Aslam ki Love Story

Atif Aslam ki Love

Story. Girl: Who ru?
Atif: Mein Ek dard hu ya
Ek Ehsas hu.
Girl: Tum Mera Picha kyu
karte ho?
Atif: Bakhuda tumhi ho, har Jagah tumhi ho.
Girl: Akhir tum Chahte
kya ho ha?
Atif: kaise Bataye kyun

tujhko Chahe yara
Baata na paye. Girl: Tum Mere liye kya
kar Sakte ho??
Atif: Jhumu Diwana ban
ke tere liye.
Girl Thappad mar ke
chali gayi- Atif: Aab to Aadat si hai
mujhko aise Jeene mein.

Man V/s Women...

Man V/s Women...
Old post but I'm sure this is gonna be Joke of the
day: A Woman was out golfing one day when she hit
the
ball into the woods.
She went into the woods to look for it and found a frog
in a trap. The frog said to her, "If you release me from
this
trap, I
will grant you three wishes."

The woman freed the frog, and the frog said, "Thank you, but I failed to mention that there was
a condition to your wishes. Whatever you wish for,
your husband will get ten
times of it!" The woman
said, "That's okay." For her first wish, she wanted to
be the most beautiful woman in the world.
The frog warned her, "You do realize that this
wish will also make your husband the
most handsome man in the world, an Adonis
whom women will floc to". The woman replied,
"That's okay, because I will be the most beautiful woman and he will have
eyes only for me."
So, KAZAM-
she's the most beautiful Woman in the world! For her
second wish, she
wanted to be the richest woman in the world. The frog said, "That will make
your husband the richest man in the world. And he
will be ten times richer than
you. " The woman said, "That's okay, because what's
mine is his and what's
his is mine." So, KAZAM- she's the richest woman in the world! The
frog then inquired about her third wish, and she
answered, "I'd like to have a
mild heart attack." Moral of the story: Women are
clever. Don't
mess with them. Attention female readers:
This is the end of the joke for you. Stop here and
continue
feeling good Male
readers: Please scroll down. *
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The man had a heart attack ten times "milder" than his wife!!! Moral of the story : Women are really dumb
but
think they're really smart . Let them continue to think
that way and just enjoy
the show PS: If you are a woman and are still reading
this; it only goes to show that women never listen!!!

Men are Honest

http://meranaamjoker1.blogspot.com

VERY FUNNY MUST READ: 
Men are Honest (story)
"One day, while a woodcutter wascutting a
branch of a tree above a river, his axe fell into the
river. When he cried out, the Lord appeared and
asked,

"Why are you crying?" The woodcutter replied that his axe has fallen into water, and he needed the
axe to make his living. The Lord went down into
the water and reappeared with a golden axe. "Is
this your axe?" the Lord asked. The woodcutter
replied, "No." The Lord again went down and came
up with a silver Axe. "Is this your axe?" the Lord asked. Again, the woodcutter replied, "No." The
Lord went down again and came up with an iron
Axe. "Is this your axe?" the Lord asked. The
woodcutter replied, "Yes." The Lord was pleased with
the man's honesty and gave him all three axes to
keep, and the woodcutter went home happy.
Some time later the woodcutter was walking with
his wife along the river bank, and his wife fell into
the river. When he cried out, the Lord again
appeared and asked him, "Why are you crying?"
"Oh Lord, my wife has fallen into the water!" The Lord went down into the water and came up with
ANGELINA JOLIE"Is this your wife?" the Lord asked..
"Yes," cried the woodcutter.
The Lord was furious. "You lied! That is an
untruth!" The woodcutter replied,"Oh, forgive me,
my Lord. It is a misunderstandin g.You see, if I had said 'no' to ANGELINA JOLIE , You would have come
up with AISHWARYA RAI. Then if I said 'no' to her,
you would have come up with my wife . Had I
then said 'yes,' you would have given me all three.
Lord, I am a poor man, and am not able to take care
of all three wives, so THAT'S why I said yes to ANGELINA JOLIE
." MORAL OF THE STORY: Whenever a man lies, it is for
a good and honorable reason, and for the benefit
of others...

TOO BOLD but MUST READ IT
A female teacher,was hving a problem with a boy in her class of 3rd grade.
The boy said Mam, I should b in 4th grade,i'm smarter than my sis & she's in the 4th grade.

The M'am {Teacher} had heard enough of his complains & took d boy 2 d Principal's office. She explained everything 2 the Principal who decided 2 test the boy with some questions that a 4th grade should kno

w.
Principal: What's 3+3? Boy: 6
Principal: 6+6?
Boy: 12 & so on..
The Principal asked d boy many ques the boy got them right.

The Principal den asked Mam 2 send d boy 2 4th grade.
Mam decided 2 ask some more ques. & the Principal agreed.

1. M'am: What does a cow have 4 of,that i've only 2 of?
Boy: Legs

2. M'am: What's in ur pants that u have but I dont have?

Boy: Pockets

3. M'am: What starts wit a C & ends with T, is hairy, oval, delicious & contains thin whitish liquid?

Boy: Coconut

4. M'am: What goes in hard & pink then comes out soft & sticky?

The principal's eyes open really wide,but b4 he could stop the answer, the boy was taking charge.

Boy: Bubble Gum

5. M'am: U stick ur poles inside me. U tie me down 2 get me up, I get wet b4u do.What am I?

Boy: Tent

The principal was looking restless
6. M'am: A finger goes in me. U fiddle with me when u're bored. The best man always has me 1st what am I?

Boy: Wedding Ring

7. M'am: I come in many sizes. When i'm not well, I drip. When u blow me,u feel good?

Boy: Nose

8. M'am: I've a stiff shaft. My tip penetrates,I come with a quiver

Boy:Arrow

9. M'am: What starts wit 'F' & ends with a 'K' & if u dont get it, u've 2 use ur hand?

Boy:Fork

10 M'am: Whats it that all men have,it's longer in some men than others,the
Popel doesn't use his & a man gives it 2 his wife after marriage?

Boy: Surname

11. M'am: What part of the man has no bone,but has muscles with a lot of veins like pumpin & is responsible 4making love?

Boy: Heart

The principal breathed a sigh of relief & told the teacher:-

'Send the boy 2 University, I got the last 10 questions wrong myself..

How long before I can get a haircut?

A guy stuck his head into a
barbershop and asked, 'How long before I can get a haircut?

The barber looked around the shop full of customers and said, 'About 2 hours.'The guy
left. 
A few days later, the same
guy stuck his head in the door and asked, 'How long before I can get a haircut?'

The barber looked around at the shop and said About 3 hours. The guy left.

A week later, the same guy stuck his head in the shop and asked, 'How long before I can get a haircut?
The barber looked around the shop and said, 'About an hour and a half. The guy left.
The barber turned to his
friend and said, 'Hey, Bob, do me a favor follow him and see where he goes. He keeps asking how long he has to wait for a haircut, but he never comes back.'

A little while later, Bob returned to the shop laughing hysterically.
The barber asked, 'So, where does he go when he leaves?

Bob looked up, wiped the
tears from his eyes and said, ' He goes to Your house, I saw him going in your bedroom with your wife !'

poor guy and his sad story

poor guy nd his sad story

Last week was my Birthday. My
wife didn't wish me, my parents
forgot and so did my kids.
I went to work. Even my
colleagues didn't wish me, as i
entered my cabin my Secretary
said, "Happy Birthday Boss"
I felt special, She asked me for
lunch.
After lunch, she invited me to
her apartment. We went there,
She said, "Do you mind if I go
into the bedroom for a minute?"
"Okay", I said.
She came out 5 minutes later
with a cake and My Wife, my
Parents, my Kids, my Friends &
my Colleagues.
All screaming, SURPRISE!
SURPRISE!
And I was waiting on the sofa,
.
.
.
.
.
.
NAKED.

Wife was sure that her husband was having S*x

Wife was sure that her husband
was having S*x with the maid
so she laid a trap.
One evening she suddenly sent
the maid home for weekend &
didnt tell husband.
That night when they went to
bed, the husband gave old story
- Excuse me my dear , My
stomach is aching and went to
bathroom . The wife promptly
went to maid's bed.
She switched the lights off. He
came in silently,he came in
silently , he wasted no time on
words but quickly started S*x ..
When he finished Wife said - U
didnt expect me in this bed , did
u ? Switched on the light
"No madam" said the watchman

you were listening to Justin Bieber

Daughter: Hey Mom i'm going to
my room with my boyfriend.


Mom: ''Okay don't do anything
stupid!''
*.Gf and Bf go into bedroom.*


Daughter screams: Baby, baby,
baby ohh!
*.Mom runs into her room.*


Mom:''What in gods name are
you doing!?!?!?!?''


Daughter: ''Mom, were having
sex! get out!''


Mom: ''Oh thank god, i thought
you were listening to Justin
Bieber

Boy Goes to a Chemist & Said:

For Adults- (Kids Don't Read) ;p
Boy Goes to a Chemist & Said:
Give
Me a Condom, I'm Going to My
Gfs
house for Dinner. Actually
Give Me 2 More. Her Sis is a
Bomb!! & Her Mom is Still Hot
 
During Dinner..
Girl's Father Came to Home.. Boy
Lowers his Head Immediately &
Start Praying..
Girl: I Never Knew You are So
Religious ;p
Boy: I Never Knew Your Father is
a
CHEMIST! 


*Thumbs Up*
 If You Like it 

Ek area mein Bhai rehta hai, Chaman Bhai.

Ek area mein Bhai rehta hai, Chaman
Bhai..
Ab uskey area mein jo bhi koi lafda hota
hai to police se pehle
Chaman Bhai ki adalat mein jaata hai....
Ek baar Chaman Bhai ke area mein rape ho jata hai, aur jisney game
bajayi hoti hai ukso pakad ke Chaman
Bhai ke paas leke jatey
hain...
Chaman Bhai pehley to bahut shanti se,
style mein, us sey baat karta hai... kuch is tarah se...
Chaman : Kya re ? Tere ko maloom nahi
yeh apun ka area hai?
Mujrim : Haan maloom hai na bhai.
Chaman : Phir kaisey himmat ki rape
karne ki apun ke area mein? Mujrim : Ab kya boloon bhai, kismat
kharab thi.
Chaman : Chal mere ko sub kuch sach
sach bata kya aur kaisey
hua?
Mujrim : Abhi kya na.. Idhar naakepe apun paan khaney ke liye
aaya...
Chaman : Phir ?
Murjim : Apun khade hokey paan kharela
tha... aur utney mein
samney wali building pe apun ki nazar gayi...
Chaman : Aage bol
Mujrim : Udhar teesrey maaley pe ek
chikni khadi hui thi
Chaman : Phir kya hua ?
Mujrim : Apun ko aisa laga ke usney ishaara kiya aaney ke
liye..
Chaman : Phir tuney kya kiya ?
Mujrim : Apun socha ke kuch kaam
hoyenga usko..... to apun
builidng ke neeche gaya Chaman : Phir ?
Mujrim : Usney Isharey se apun ko upar
bulaaya... apun seedi
chadte yehich sochrela tha"Chaman Bhai
ka area hai..... Lafda
nahi karne ka" Chaman : Chal fatafat aagey bol
Mujrim : Apun ne usko jaakey bola.... kya
kaam hai.. kaiko
ishara kiya apun ko?
Chaman : Phir ?
Mujrim : Phir kya bhai, apun ko usney ghar ke andar kheech
liya
Chaman : (Excited) Phir ?
Mujrim : Apun ghar me to chala gaya
lekin soch raha tha ki
"Chaman Bhai ka area hai..... Lafdanahi karne ka"
Chaman : Aagey bol
Mujrim : Usney apun ka haath pakad liya
Chaman : Accha... Phir?
Mujrim : Sachchi bolta hai bhai haath
pakadtey hi apun phir socha "Chaman Bhai ka area hai...... Lafda nahi
karne ka"
Chaman : Phir kya hua ?
Mujrim : Phir kya tha... Usney bola
chikney meri pyaas bujha de
Chaman : Phir tu kya bola (GettingExcited) ?
Mujrim : Apun kya bolta, usne apna
duppata neechey gira diya
Chaman : To phir kya hua ?
Mujrim : Apun ke dimag ki dahi ho gaya,
kya mammey (boobs) they saali ke...lekin bhai phir bhi apun socha
"Chaman Bhai ka area
hai..... Lafda nahi karne ka"
Chaman : Phir tuney kya kiya ?
Mujrim : Apun bola ek-do kiss karega aur
chala jayega..... zyada boli to body kaam karenga lekin
engine nahi kholney ka....
Aakhir, "Chaman Bhai ka area hai..... Lafda
nahi karne ka"
Chaman : Toh phir ?
Mujrim : Usney apun ko kheech liya.... sacchi bolta hai bhai
aisi katil jawaani apun akkhi life me nahi
dekha.
Chaman : Haan, woh to hai.... Tu aage bol
(Starts to heat up)
Mujrim : Phir kya tha.... apun ne kiss kiya, mammey (boobs) bhi
dabaya... lekin imaan se bolta hai, soch
raha tha "Chaman Bhai ka
area hai..... Lafda nahi karne ka"
Chaman : Aagey bol ?
Mujrim : Phir usney apni kameez utar di Chaman : Phir ?
Mujrim : Phir salwar, lekin apun ke dil me
ekich khayal aa raha
tha "Chaman Bhai ka area hai.... Lafda
nahi karne ka"
Chaman : Aagey aagey ? Mujrim : phir blouse aur chaddi saali ne
sab utar di
Chaman : sahi mein?
Mujrim : phir meri pant keech li
Chaman : Accha ?
Mujrim : meri underwear mein haath dal diya
Chaman : oh !!
Mujrim : chaddi utar di meri, lekinapun
phir bhi socha "Chaman
Bhai ka area hai..... Lafda nahi karne ka"
Chaman : (Getting frustrated). . Mujrim : Phir woh haath phiraaney lagi
Chaman : (Half Boiling)
Mujrim : phir mooh ghumaaney lagi.....
phir bhi apun yehi soch
raha tha "Chaman Bhai ka area hai.....
Lafda nahi karne ka" Chaman: (About to blast) Aagey... aagey
bol saley...
Mujrim: Chumney Chatney lagi
bhaaaaiiii.. ...lekin bhai kasam
se......main yehi soch raha tha"Chaman
Bhai ka area hai..... Lafda nahi karne ka"
Chaman: Abey teri to... Chaman Bhai Gaya
Maa Chudaney.... . tu
aage bol !
Mujrim : Yehich...... yehich - apun ne bhi
yehi socha bhai.....aur game baja dala.!!!